Why don’t you have a man!?

The other day I saw a rather funny story of Jesus Christ and some of his followers. One of his female followers said to him “Jesus, I need a man”. And Jesus answered her “I sent you one, but you keep telling him he’s just a friend”.  I’m not too sure of the origin of that  joke or if it has  theological roots, but it sure did two things to me:  1) I laughed so hard and loud for almost three  minutes and 2) It got me thinking about why many people do not have the needed help or love that they need or deserve. I laughed because I have heard several ladies say things similar to that; some people have the impression that the closer it is, the more unlikely it is to be real. I was wondering “is it possible that what you are looking for “out there” is right “in here”?

I was privileged to visit a village in Democratic Republic of Congo called Mbujimayi and during my stay, I was invited to bless a piece of land where a local business man and his boys were about to dig for diamonds. Yes, diamonds! I blessed the land and left for our own mission-evangelism.  We worked all day in the neighboring village, preaching and praying for people and got back late at night. I didn’t have time to ask if the “diamond diggers” were successful or not. The next morning, as I did my prayer walk, I walked pass the site and to my surprise they were still digging. I didn’t want to stop by again since my translator was not with me. But on a second thought, I decided to go nearer and take a look. When I got there, one of the workers thought to explain to me what was going on.  He probably thought that with my academic credentials, I was also verse in his local dialect. Well, even though I didn’t understand the dialect, I understood his gesticulations and explanations.

He explained to me that they may dig for a couple of hours or even days and not get a single diamond. It is a very hard and tedious task which may or may not yield dividends. I was amazed that with all the risk and hard work put into the project, there is a huge possibility of it being futile; but the interesting part, I found out, is that after all that process, they only need to find a certain kind/quality/specie/type of soil that tells them they might have reached a diamond “zone”.  Soil? Yes, Soil. And when they find that soil, the fellow in the hole scoops them and sends them up. When they get all the “special” soil, they go to the nearby stream to wash/sift it and hope they find even one piece of diamond.  Sometimes they do find and they celebrate it. Other times they don’t find anything; they wash up, go home and try another location, another day.  But another very interesting part of their search for diamond is that when they do find diamonds among the soil, it does not in any way look as attractive or beautiful as we all know diamonds to be. Diamond in its unprocessed state is pretty ordinary and unless you know how to identify it, you may mistake it for a piece of worthless article.

They come disguised

Have you ever heard the metaphor “Diamond in the rough”?  Yes you probably have. But have you considered the reality of it? Has it occurred to you that many people you meet as you go through life are going through a process?  Life is not a bed of roses and nothing comes easy. God did not promise any of us a smooth sail through life, so maybe it is normal to go through hell and high waters in the process of attaining greatness. Every one of us goes through tough times and we are at various stages. While some are still battling with mud and miry clay, others have swum through the river and are looking a bit more polished and clean.  But the sad thing is that many are quick to forget that they once were stuck in the mud and needed some help or attention. Why are we quick to condemn people just because we do not consider them good enough!?  A lot of us are too busy to take a closer look to find the solution, help or even beauty in “simple” places/people.  Has it occurred to you that the young man, whom you consider worthless or inconsequential, may just be the “diamond” you are searching for? There are many who moan and complain of lack of love or help, not knowing that what they need is right around the corner. Many have failed to see that sometimes, things of great quality are wrapped in ordinary and unattractive packages. Yes, there are treasures in vessels of clay.

Foolish girls want “finished” men

To those of you who are still waiting for “Mr Right”, I have a word for you. First let me ask you a couple of questions.

1.    If you were the one who asked Jesus for a man, what do you think He would have said in response to you? Would he say “you have mistreated the one I sent to you” or “you are not ready to be a wife yet”? Would he say “the last time I sent you one you said he wasn’t your type”? Or “you looked down at the one I sent you last time”. Be honest, what do you think Jesus would say to you if you asked him for a man?

2.    Are you one of those who believe that once you get married, you have “entered your rest”? Do you know that marriage is a call to “more work” rather than “rest”? 

3.    Are you busy cat-walking past the right man because your eyes are set on “the Hollywood” type man?

4.    If you were quarantined to an Island for the rest of your life and you are allowed to choose one man to live in that island with, who will you choose? (Read Chapter 15 of Winning Ways for Wise Women –J C Gogo for tips).

When it comes to relationship/marriage, I believe that the reason why many ladies make the wrong choice is because they have the wrong vision and some others have misplaced priorities. Some know that the guy they say is “just like a brother” or “just a friend” is probably the right person for them. Not in every case though, but why would anyone think of marrying someone who is not as close as a friend? Countless young ladies have gone into marriage to later regret because they realize that the one whom they married is not the one whom they can laugh, pray and play with. 

Worse still, I think it is foolishness to want to marry a man because he is “handsome and rich”. Need I say more? Read about these and more in Winning Ways for Wise Women.

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Your comments and/or questions are welcome!