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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Raw Passion Urated

It was 10 30 pm on Friday night and after all the hard week’s work, Paula was just glad to be home and she was happier to know she will have the weekend off work. Although it usually is a boring experience for lots of our working class single ladies, but you cannot beat the joy they have when they think about the work free days ahead. For Paula, it is sweet and sour; sweet because she will have time to rest, go to the cinema, or hang out with the girls, sour when she remembers that six out of her eight closest girl friends are married and she doesn’t even have a date. As if that was not enough, her mum calls from Texas every weekend to know if she caught any “fish” during the week. While having this mixed feelings, her phone rang “oh my, not again. Is it mum calling to know if I got a date or Trisha calling to know when we are hanging out”? She reluctantly walked to the phone and, it was not a familiar number.

“Hello” she said, “hi Paula, it’s been a while” replied the voice on the other side of the phone. The voice didn’t sound familiar and…it was a male voice. “Erm, yeah…yeah, it’s been a while. And where have you been all this while?” Said Paula, still confused about who this strange caller is. “Well, I moved to Tulsa after I lost my mum and I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you I was moving. It was not easy for me and my brothers after we lost our mum. I chose to move to Tulsa and start afresh and…” While he was yet talking, Paula recognized the voice, she couldn’t control her emotion and she broke in “…stop it Michael, stop it. You did not treat me right. You hurt me so bad when you left without notice or any forward address. You chose to leave, and you left, you left me and I have been fine, now stay away from me and never come back” she yelled and dropped the phone.

Michael and Paula were childhood friends. They went to Greenwood high school and they were the two best students of the 1999 set. They were always together; Michael was in the school’s basketball team and Paula was a cheerleader. After every game they went home together and all their friends and neighbors thought they were good together. And were they? Maybe! Michael had a girl he wanted to go out with and he always told Paula about her. But there was a hitch; the girl had a boyfriend and the way they were, it seemed she was crazily in love with her boyfriend. Because of this, Paula never thought he had a chance with Michael, but in her heart, she really loved him but wouldn’t tell him. After several months of futile effort to get this girl, Michael eventually gave up. But he still told Paula how much he would have loved to have the other girl. As time went on, the two of them kept their friendship but it didn’t go beyond that.

The death of Michael’s mother brought them closer. In fact it was Paula whom the family used to break the news to Michael. And when she broke the news, Michael broke down and wept like a baby on Paula’s shoulder. She couldn’t go home that night; she had to stay over at his place to console him and make him dinner. That was their first night together and even though Michael was mourning, he still had time and courage to get his first kiss from Paula. It was passionate.

Now Michael is trying to come back into her life and she didn’t want that to happen because as they say “history has a way of repeating itself”; will Michael come back to her life to disappear after a while again? Is he coming back to get serious with her this time? Is he just checking on her? What if Michael is married? By the way, how did Michael get her number? “Oh my, could it be that my family want to use Michael to break the news of my mother’s death to me?” Paula thought. She quickly called her mother’s number and got her voice mail. This was unusual, her mother always pick her phone. “Oh my Lord! Jesus Help me” Paula cried
And as she cried her phone rang again and quickly she picked up the phone “Hello…hello” She stammered.

"Hey baby, how are you doing?” asked the voice on the other side of the phone. Paula took a deep breath when she heard the voice; it was her mother’s voice. They went on and on and talked for almost thirty minutes and her mother didn’t do her usual quizzing about a date. This got Paula suspicious. Even though she never enjoyed that part of their discussion, it was very unusual for her mum not to ask if she had any date. Could it be that Michael got her phone number through her mum? She couldn’t pretend about it so she asked her mum right away; “mum, are you in touch with Michael?” “Yeah, I spoke with him a while ago and he told me you hung up on him… baby” she continued, “He is a good boy with a good heart. He was hurting when his mama died and he couldn’t bear the pain and the only way he knew to respond was to change his environment. Please forgive him and take him back”. Paula was quiet while her mum spoke. She didn’t want to be rude to her mum. And of course she knew her mum thinks she is due for marriage and as usual is trying to suggest who she thinks is a good candidate. She is sincere in her suggestions and nobody will query that.

“Thank you mum, I will think about it and get back to you” she said. “I got to go now mum. Do have a good night” When she hung up she was really confused. How could she go back to a relationship that really hurt her? And by the way, Michael made it clear to her that she is not the kind of girl he wanted for a wife. He preferred the other girl. Why did he suddenly change his mind? He was a nice guy though and Paula can testify that among all the guys she has met so far, Michael was the most courteous of them all and if she has to think of a man to marry, Michael may qualify. But her concerns are legitimate. No girl likes to play ‘second fiddle’ in any relationship and Michael made it clear that he preferred someone else to her.

While she was thinking over it all, someone knocked on her door. “This is strange” she thought. “I’m not expecting anybody at this time of the night…could it be one of my neighbors?” She opened the door and “Oh my world! What are you doing here by this time of the night?” Paula asked. Michael didn’t bother to answer the question; he grabbed her and, like the first time, gave her a good kiss. Although Paula didn’t respond at first, but Michael continued until she opened up. After the kissing session, they talked about almost everything; their high school days, first kiss, life as adults, work and etc. In between as their faces met, they kissed and laughed and touched. Michael’s favorite program came up and Paula lay on his lap while he watched.

When Paula woke up the next morning she had slept on the sofa. There was no Michael and the television was not even on. She had been dreaming. Or so she thought. Everything was the way she left them; her laptop was on top of the study table, her shoes under it, her jacket on the sofa and the lights on. She was glad that Michael’s visit was a dream. She went on to unpack her laptop and she couldn’t believe it, there was a male wrist watch in her laptop bag. Her heart skipped a beat. How did this wrist watch get here? She wondered.
To be continued…

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Getting old or too young?

Some years ago one of my young friends  told me she was getting old and needed to marry as soon as possible. For a few seconds my mouth was left open. I thought she was too young to talk about marriage so I didn't really know what to say. Later I asked her 'So what do you want to do? You cannot marry yourself and I don't think you should rush into marriage, you still have time'. Well, I guess my sermon was in vain; I realized that when a young girl thinks she is ready for marriage, no sermon can stop her. In many cases they go on and agree to marry the next suitor that comes their way. And all the way they go, they get married and what next?

I wonder what people mean when they say they are getting old-as if they want to remain young. Is growth not supposed to be a good thing? Is there something wrong about growing to certain ages?  Is there a stipulated age when someone must be married? Should young men and women succumb to family/societal pressure when it comes to the issue of marriage? Is marriage all there is to life? Which is better; to be an old single and happy woman or to be a young miserable wife? To be old and free or to be young and in bondage? Is it better to live single and be focused or to be married and loose your vision and zest for life?

Not long after, the young girl came back to me, having been married for three years, and this time the story changed. "I am too young for what I am going through, I don't want to die young...". She begins, "...this is not good for me and if nothing is done I might loose my mind...or even my life" Erm...! Is it just me or is this confusing? lol! Can you be too old and too young at the same time? OK! I see. It was pressure. People made her think she was getting old and needed to marry. She couldn't face it and tell people she was not ready for the challenge of marriage. She didn't know that marriage is a whole new school of higher learning and that you have to be trained and fully prepared before you go into it and even at that, no one can assure you of happiness in a marriage because it is a complex institution that only God can show you how to make it through.

Consider this: A wise man/woman is profitable to himself (Cf. Job 22:2). The best thing you can do is to be useful to yourself and for yourself. Don't live your life trying to please people because when all is said and done, you alone will take the blame for your failure. But the 'sweet' side is that everybody will claim a part of your success story. So why not take your time, enjoy the various stages of your life. Maximize every moment, learn from every experience; take one day at a time, work smart, dance, smell the roses, sing, laugh, relax, pray, touch lives, make the most of life and enjoy 'you'. You are never too old to be happy and you can't be too young to be profitable. This is the one life you have, use it well.

Come to think of it, I am getting old you know. *wink*